Lonely But Not Alone

At times I feel God is playing games with me
I may have His grace but I question mercy
I pray for black and he sends white my way
I pray that I leave but I'm forced to stay

I have wants and desires to do something huge
But obstacles and setbacks are my only refuge
I spend all my time thinking positive things
I believe in His word and the promises it brings

But sadness creeps in; so does pain and heartache
I try to be strong but how much can one take
They say let it go, be patient, move on
I’m only a human and sometimes not so strong

The mind of the married won’t understand my blues
They have love and companionship to go home to
The world of the lonely is more independent
Every episode in life is spent unattended

No point in complaining it won’t change a thing
Dismiss thoughts of marriage and wedding rings
Convincing all others that your life is just fine
Having a mate is no way to define

When the sun starts to set and you’re all tucked in
It’s when you’re alone that the grieving begins
You think of your day and play back the events
Identifying each moment and how it was spent

Although you feel thankful, you start to feel down
Looking for company but no one is around
Tossing and turning you finally admit
Alone is one thing but lonely is different

There is an advantage, don’t misunderstand
You have total freedom when you don’t have a man
You eat when you want and clean as you go
You learn who you are and you’re able to grow

Like any other situation there is a downfall
When you’ve had a hard day there’s no one to call
Your friends are attached, they don’t have the time
They’re no longer single, their blues ain’t like mine

In the midst of alone you’re forced to look up
You need His friendship so you won’t give up
They all have their mates but Lord where is mine
“Be patient my child, he’ll come in due time”

All of a sudden I am able to rest
It’s not playing games but only a test
Sometimes you feel lonely but you have to hold on
Know who you are and keep pressing on

He knows our desires for He placed them there
All of His children are in His care
Because of His grace I find peace on my own
At times I feel lonely but I’m never alone