A friend committed suicide recently. No one saw it coming. :-(
Did you notice my frown
As I walked around with my head hanging down
You say get over it, there are other fish in the sea
But in my love sick mind she was made especially for me
God thank you for this gift finally
A series of unfortunate events that makes my life well spent seem worthless
According to God’s law life was supposed to be better than this
He will never put more on you than you can bear, at least that’s what they say
If that’s the case then why did He take my family away
My wife, my kids….. I made them my world and now the memory seems distant
So much for a life well spent
I went looking for a job today. The man said there’s no work
"I’ll call you when I have something I think you deserve"
For a quick second I imagined murder but drove home instead
I thought about what would happen if I made the traffic light green when it really was red
A five car pile up wouldn’t guarantee my death
So I go home and ask myself what’s really left
I had a conversation with my mother about my fatality
"Son think about your family," that’s what she said to me
All I could think was…. Momma you don’t see it but I’m probably better off dead
Later that night I got on my knees and prayed by my bed
Lord what about the promises You made
You said my good deeds wouldn’t go unpaid
I tried to do right but what has that done
I took a boy in need and made him my son
I fathered two kids and gave them a home
I loved a bitch and she left me alone
I tried to do right against probability
As hard as I try I see no possibility
I know what I’ll do…..take their advice and wait for it to pass
As I tossed and turned satan crossed my path
“I have an option to end all this pain
You’ll never have to worry about your situation again
Here is a rope a noose and a chair
What’s the hold up? The back porch is right there
Take control of your heartache….. let His will be done
Hanging is less painful than use of a gun”
I rose from my bed at 5 in the morn
No consideration for the damage I’d done
I forgot to think twice about the grief it would cause
I didn’t remember the consequence of God’s laws
An act of desperation to end it all
Ultimately led to a major downfall
As I tightened the noose, placed my feet on the chair
For a moment I was happy to end the despair
No pain no agony no regrets for my past
I said a final prayer for this breath was my last
Thank you God for giving me life
I now say goodbye to the anguish and strife
To momma take care, please keep my family strong
To my cousins and brothers just try to hold on
You’ll never understand because I cared not to share
I tried to reach out but no one was there
I’m not holding you responsible for not hearing my voice
I let darkness consume me, that was my choice
One last request and I know this is foul
Never underestimate what’s behind a man's smile
Did you notice my frown
As I walked around with my head hanging down
You say get over it, there are other fish in the sea
But in my love sick mind she was made especially for me
God thank you for this gift finally
A series of unfortunate events that makes my life well spent seem worthless
According to God’s law life was supposed to be better than this
He will never put more on you than you can bear, at least that’s what they say
If that’s the case then why did He take my family away
My wife, my kids….. I made them my world and now the memory seems distant
So much for a life well spent
I went looking for a job today. The man said there’s no work
"I’ll call you when I have something I think you deserve"
For a quick second I imagined murder but drove home instead
I thought about what would happen if I made the traffic light green when it really was red
A five car pile up wouldn’t guarantee my death
So I go home and ask myself what’s really left
I had a conversation with my mother about my fatality
"Son think about your family," that’s what she said to me
All I could think was…. Momma you don’t see it but I’m probably better off dead
Later that night I got on my knees and prayed by my bed
Lord what about the promises You made
You said my good deeds wouldn’t go unpaid
I tried to do right but what has that done
I took a boy in need and made him my son
I fathered two kids and gave them a home
I loved a bitch and she left me alone
I tried to do right against probability
As hard as I try I see no possibility
I know what I’ll do…..take their advice and wait for it to pass
As I tossed and turned satan crossed my path
“I have an option to end all this pain
You’ll never have to worry about your situation again
Here is a rope a noose and a chair
What’s the hold up? The back porch is right there
Take control of your heartache….. let His will be done
Hanging is less painful than use of a gun”
I rose from my bed at 5 in the morn
No consideration for the damage I’d done
I forgot to think twice about the grief it would cause
I didn’t remember the consequence of God’s laws
An act of desperation to end it all
Ultimately led to a major downfall
As I tightened the noose, placed my feet on the chair
For a moment I was happy to end the despair
No pain no agony no regrets for my past
I said a final prayer for this breath was my last
Thank you God for giving me life
I now say goodbye to the anguish and strife
To momma take care, please keep my family strong
To my cousins and brothers just try to hold on
You’ll never understand because I cared not to share
I tried to reach out but no one was there
I’m not holding you responsible for not hearing my voice
I let darkness consume me, that was my choice
One last request and I know this is foul
Never underestimate what’s behind a man's smile
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